TITLE: HEART-v1.0 software installation.
INVOLVING TECH SUPPORT PAGES 101.10A-316.99Z.
SITUATION: A Customer has been having problems with some really high-tech stuff. She calls CHRISTIAN SUPPORT CENTRAL for help. The following is a print out of the dialogue that occurred between the customer and the CS Rep as they tried to get to the real problem she had been having.
Customer: Hi. I’m not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first?
CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma’am?
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?
CS Rep: What programs are running ma’am?
Customer: Let me see….I have PASTHURT.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
CS Rep: No problem LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory,but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite all other programs with a module of its own. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma’am?
Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, I’m done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?
CS Rep: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?
CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTs in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops…I have an error message already. What should I do?
CS Rep: What does the message say?
Customer: It says “ERROR 412 – PROGRAM NOT RUNNING ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS”.What does that mean?
CS Rep: Don’t worry ma’am, that’s a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to renew your entire Internal Drive System.
Customer: Oh, my. What should I do? I don’t think I could do something that sounds so complicated.
CS Rep: Actually, you can’t do it on your own. You simply have to RECEIVE the complete renewal from this end. It is a program called SALVATION.101. And this program changes all your settings, from your configuration to your autoexec files. AND it effects every program on your computer.
Customer: But won’t that erase everything on my present drive ?
CS Rep: Yes
Customer: Well, I don’t know if I want to do anything that radical just yet.
CS Rep: Well, Ma’am, it’s free–Someone already paid for the program for you–but, you would have to download it now.
Customer: Can’t I change everything on my computer on my own, instead ?
CS Rep: You could try. To date, no one has ever gotten everything right. Actually, everyone who has tried has ended up crashing.
Customer: Wow. I guess I really need to get this program running right away. I do need it, don’t I ?
CS Rep: Yes, Ma’am. Everyone does. Because we all get those faulty programs, and we need a program that will clean them all up, and get our internal drive made new.
Customer: Well, this really sounds wonderful. You are so helpful !
CS Rep: Well, you shouldn’t thank me. I didn’t create the program. The most wonderful, brilliant, intelligent Person I know did. His Name is Jesus.
Customer: Well, Let’s get started ! I am excited !
CS Rep: O.K. Then, I can see you have faith in this program, so I’ll begin downloading right away. Click on the following files and then copy them to the “MYHEART” directory: REPENTENCE.DOC, FORGIVENESS.DOC, and NEWLIFE.DOC,
The new system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete DOUBT.EXE from all directories, and then empty your Recycle Bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that WARMTH.COM, and PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over My HEART!
CS Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle It from here. One more thing before I go…
CS Rep: We have a continuing program that you should download daily to keep everything going just the way it should. It is composed of three files. PRAYER.EXE, and THEWORD.EXE, and OBEDIENCE.EXE. Actually, you should start off each day running each one of them.
By the way, remember that all this is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. Not one mortal man gets any royalties from it at all. And, it is something that everybody can use, too !
Customer: I will. Thank you for your help. It is so wonderful that Jesus made all this possible !